More pics!

Here's Ellison at barely 1 day old... alone time with Mommy!

Papa, that light is bright!
I think there's a pic of Garrett somewhere with this same face!

Garrett "shooshing" because baby is sleeping!

Snuggling with Nana

The wonderful cookie gift basket from my coworkers! Thanks!

Ellison after a very stressful bath... but now all cozy and warm!

I love her sweet little face! She's by far the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen!

With Many Thanks...

This last week has been one of the longest weeks of my life. Since I got home from the hospital, I've had to be Mommy of two kids, one of them being a newborn, requiring attention almost all the time. This is starting to leave Garrett feeling a little displaced. He's now starting to act out a little more, whining a little more, and being more stubborn (if THAT'S even possible).

But there is one thing that has really helped me through all this... FAMILY. I really don't think I would be emotionally stable today if we didn't have family helping us out every step of the way.

Doug's mom and step dad (Gene and Sally Isenga) have been very generous with their time and took Garrett for 3 nights while I was in the hospital! This gave Doug time to get some work done at the apartment during the day and come to the hospital to spend time with me and the baby at night. I don't think they quite realize how grateful we are to have someone that knows and loves Garrett so much that they can take good care of him for 3 days!

Doug's dad and step mom (Rick and Pat DeGraaf) were so very kind to take Loki for 4 days so we didn't have to worry about his care during my hospital stay. They are dog lovers and have watched him before, and for them to take him at the last minute so that Doug was not constantly coming home to let him out really helped us bond with our new daughter.

And my parents (Gary and Nancy Berdinski) have been there whenever I need them and whatever I need them for. My mom was present at the birth and I'm really glad she was there, although I didn't really have a chance to bond with her through this experience because things progress so quickly! But the day after I got home from the hospital, my mom was there helping out with Garrett and playing with him. She made us lunch and made it possible for me to get a nap in. She did anything I needed to make the transition so much easier. My dad took a day off of work and came over on Wednesday to help me with Garrett as well. He took him outside, made him lunch, took him to the park later, and even stayed until Garrett went to bed! He stayed almost 12 hours to help me out because I was having some pain issues. What a dad! Then my mom came over again today...not to get her baby fix (although she did that too!), but to clean my house! Her main goal today was to get things done around the house that I still cannot physically do myself. She even did some grocery shopping for me! So not only are my floors clean, but so is my bathroom and kitchen!

Our parents are so incredibly wonderful, and I feel like I cannot thank them enough for everything they've done to help us.

Mom's and Dad's, I love you all from the bottom of my heart and I hope that I can convey my appreciation for everything you've done to help us. You have a very beautiful granddaughter and I hope that she can come to love and appreciate her family as much as I've come to love and appreciate mine. Thanks again for everything!

On The Day You Were Born...

Since I was overdue with no inkling of her showing up, I set up my induction date for 4-10-09 at 5:30am. My mom and dad were coming from Muskegon to be at the birth and my mom was going to watch. The days came and past that week with no signs of her wanting to come on her own, so on Friday morning, I got up at 4am and got the rest of my things together for the hospital, and right before we were to leave I had to call ahead to make sure there weren't too many women already in labor for me to be induced. I called, but they said I would have to wait a little while before coming in. There were already a ton of babies born in the 2 days prior and all were being discharged that morning, so all the nurses were occupied. The nurse took my phone number and said she'd call me when they had an opening.

Both Doug and I went back to sleep since they said it wouldn't be until after 9am or so. I woke up again around 7 or 8 and felt much more rested for the day. Unfortunately, waiting the next few hours was excruciatingly boring. Doug kept bugging me to call them back to see if we could come in yet, but I thought "No, they said they would call me when they were ready". So I waited and waited, finally giving in on the phone call at 10:30am. The nurse asked if we could be there at noon, and I was so happy that it would be today.


We got there at noon, and to my surprise, Dr. Brad Irving was working, but unfortunately he was just finishing his shift. He ended up staying a little to make sure that I got set up alright before he left, and I was kind of sad that he wouldn't be there for my second baby's birth. After getting everything all set up, the nurse started the Pitocin and Amoxicillin at 1pm, and said that I had to be on antibiotics for 4 hours before I could deliver so that the baby would be covered. (I tested postive for Group B Strep, thus requiring antibiotics during labor so the baby wouldn't get sick).


The nurse said that after 1 hour they would break my water, and up until that point the contractions had been very manageable. But 2pm rolled around (I was 5cm and 70% effaced) and they broke my water, and my pain threshold along with it. Within 5-6 contractions after breaking my water I was begging for my epidural. Not only were they VERY strong, but they were coming VERY fast. I would finish 1 contraction and not 15 seconds later I was starting another contraction. The nurse even told me before the epidural to get up and use the restroom. I had to make Doug stay in there with me because I had to stop peeing twice to have contractions. Then when I thought I could make it, I stood up, but didn't even make it to the door before another contraction hit.

Once the epidural was in place and taking effect, at around 3pm they checked me again and I was already 6-7cm. Around 4:30pm, I got my second dose of antibiotics and my mom and dad said they were going to go get some coffee and they'd be right back. No sooner did they leave the floor and I felt tremendous pressure "in my bottom". I was getting VERY nervous because I felt like I was going to have a bowel movement. I even asked Doug to check for me to make sure I wasn't having an accident in the bed! After checking and finding nothing I was still very nervous because I really felt the need to go to the bathroom. The nurse came in a few minutes later and I asked her if it was normal to feel like you're going to poop, and she asked when I had been checked last. I wasn't sure, so she got the doctor in to check me. I was complete (10cm dilated and 100% effaced) and +2 station. She asked me to give her a litte test push, and before I could even really start pushing, she told me to stop and told the nurse to get the doctor in the room right away.

When we realized this was happening NOW, I told Doug to try to call my parents. When my dad answered the phone, Doug told him they were missing it. My mom (who had just had knee surgery the month before) and dad were running/hobbling back to the room and made it just in time for me to start pushing. I started pushing around 4:55pm, pushed maybe 5 times, and 10 minutes later at 5:05pm, Ellison Margery was born.

Now I have the sweetest most beautiful baby girl EVER! :-)

Welcome Ellison Margery DeGraaf!

Ellison Margery DeGraaf was born Friday 4/10/09 at 5:05 pm weighing in at 7 pounds 5 ounces and 20 inches in length. Total labor was 4 hours and 5 minutes, with only 10 minutes of pushing! I'll write the whole story another time, but for now here's some cute pics...

Safe in Daddy's arms...

Already Daddy is wrapped around her little tiny finger...

Let's just say she knows how to work that tongue.


I have a DAUGHTER!

Mommy holding Ellison for the first time...

He's Growing Up...

Since this baby didn't feel like making an appearance yesterday and it was beautiful outside, Garrett and I spend a lot of time outdoors. Garrett has this new excitement and obsession with his tricycle. He frequently tells me "I want outside" then "I want ride my bike". So both morning and afternoon, Garrett spent some time learning how to peddle his bike, refusing any help from Mommy. This is the first real day that he's had some time to practice this new skill. He still has trouble getting both feet to stay on the peddles, in which case he has to reposition his feet and start all over, but he's definitely getting better! Check him out!

Tomorrow must be the day...

that I finally get to meet my stubborn daughter. I'm scheduled for an induction at 5:30am tomorrow. So far I've had lots of back pain, but yesterday and so far today I've had NO contractions. So today Garrett and I are going to his Mimi's house to paint Easter eggs, and I'm bringing all his overnight stuff so that we can bring him back over there after dinner and he'll be staying the night. Then not bright but very early we'll be heading to the hospital to be induced. The ironic part of all this (and I scheduled the induction without knowing this ahead of time) is that Baby Girl will be born on Good Friday, the day that Jesus was crucified on the cross and died for our sins. Garrett was born the day we celebrate Jesus' birthday...weird, huh?

I guess I still have an opportunity to go into labor on my own today and even tonight, but I'm not counting on it. She's obviously mine and Doug's daughter, so she's a stubborn little mule of a child and refuses to be born. She'll have to get used not not getting her way because we're serving her eviction notice tomorrow morning whether she likes it or not!

Mommy is just so ready to be done. Emotionally I'm feeling a little depressed and saddened. Mostly because she hasn't come yet, but also I don't want to be induced either. I was hoping that she'd come on her own. But I really don't think that I can handle waiting until next week and therefore giving her a few more days to make this decision on her own. Physically it gets harder everyday too. Garrett always wants to play outside, always wants me to pick him up, always wants to lay ON me before and after bed/nap times. I even told Doug last night that I'm starting to feel deformed because I'm so pregnant. She's dropped quite a bit, and my belly doesn't really look like this cute little round ball anymore. To me it looks like she's going to fall right out!

At least I'm guaranteed to not be pregnant after tomorrow and we can go back to being a family, with a new cute little addition.

Quick Update...

I had my ultrasound and non-stress test today and everything is fine. The ultrasound showed that there is plenty of fluid in there for her and we even got to see her blink a few times. During the non-stress test I was even contracting every 2-3 minutes while hooked up to the monitors! So far everything is fine. I'm not in labor, but my body is definitely practicing! I hope to update soon with more (better) news!

Two Days Overcooked!

I'm officially past my due date by two days now, with no real signs of her coming. At my appointment yesterday, Dr. Florido said that I'm still 3 cm and still 50% effaced. She stripped my membranes again, and for the remainder of the evening I was having frequent but painless contractions. They never really went anywhere, but maybe it means that my body is just getting ready for her to come. If she doesn't come on her own, then I'm scheduled to be induced on Friday. I'm also scheduled for a non-stress test and an ultrasound today to make sure her environment is still in perfect working order.

I went back in my journal that I kept when I was pregnant with Garrett and tried to find something that might indicate that labor was coming shortly, and the only thing I could find was that three days prior I was also having frequent but painless contractions. Two days prior I didn't write, so I'm not sure what happened. One day prior I went into false labor.

Today I have a list of things that I'd like to get done as long as I don't have a two year old on my hip (he's in daycare on Tuesdays :-) ) My good friend EB told me that I should make a list of things that I'd like to get done, but don't care if they get done; fun things for me to keep myself busy so that I'm not just sitting around the house waiting. Unfortunately a couple of those things HAVE TO get done before I go into labor. (It really doesn't work to run out of diapers AND wipes for Garrett when I'm in the hospital!)

So hopefully after all my appointments and errands today, something will get a movin' here!

Today's the big day!... or not.

Okay, So I'm officially due today! I know it's extremely rare for someone to actually deliver on their due date, but I have one theory as to why it might be today.

When I first got pregnant with Garrett, I went online to figure out what my due date was. Most websites said that to figure out your due date, you take the first day of your last period, go back 3 months, then add 1 week. Ta-Da! Well, when I did this with Garrett, I figured out my due date was on December 25! When I actually saw my OB 3 weeks later, she figured it to be December 23rd. Well, December 23rd came and went, and so did the 24th with false labor. Finally on December 25th, Garrett decided to make his entrance, on MY calculated due date! Coincidence? Maybe.

This time, I did the same exact thing, calculating my due date as April 5th! It just happened that my OB calculated the same day. So, it's only 9:30am as I'm writing this, I still could quite possibly have her today.

But I have 1 theory as to why she won't come today. According to my OB's due date, Garrett was 2 days overdue. After watching plenty of friends have babies, one of my closest friends most recently (8 weeks ago today!) had her baby 3 days early. Her first baby was also 3 days early. So, if patterns are to repeat themselves, Baby Girl may very well be 2 days late as well. We'll see. She may buck any trend and decide not to come at all unless we induce her!

We're all waiting on you, Baby Girl!

And NOW I can relax!

YEA! Today was my last day for work for 3 months...true I haven't had the baby yet, but I'm no longer on the schedule to deal with peoples insurance problems, or hear their complaints that their script was sent 2 hours ago ("I watched him send it!") when I REALLY have no script to fill. Seriously, do they think I get a kick out of telling them their script isn't there when it really is? Anyway, I'm due in 2 days and I don't have to worry about working anymore. Work is not a big stressor for me, but I feel I can really relax now that I KNOW I don't have to go back. Now, if I have to go somewhere, it's because I WANT to, not HAVE to.

Don't get me wrong. I have a job. There are lots of people that don't. I get paid decently for a job that I like. But because I don't love it, I'm not really going to miss it. I will definitely miss the people I work with though. They all think that because I'm gone now, that they won't see me until I come back in 3 months. Yeah, right! I'll be in 2 weeks after the baby is born because I'm so stir crazy in my house!

Garrett apparently wanted to wait until Christmas to be born. Maybe Baby Girl is waiting for me to be done with work to make her entrance...? I could go into labor tonight, but I'm not banking on it. But at least if I don't have her this weekend and its sometime next week, I can feel relaxed about not having to worry about rearranging my schedule "in case" I go into labor.

Am I Emotional or What?

I'm feeling very down today. Garrett was a mess the rest of the day after we left EB's house yesterday, and by bedtime I was so frustrated I told Doug to do it. He ended up putting Garrett BACK to bed 3 more times. Finally I got so frustrated with that, that I ended up doing it. He finally went to sleep. I went to bed at 10:15, but was awakened 3 more times by Garrett throughout the night. He got up at 6:30 this morning and WOULD NOT return to bed. He wouldn't stop crying, and to be honest, I had absolutely NO sympathy for him. I didn't want anything to do with him. Once again, Doug stepped in to save me from myself.

I feel like everything sucks. I never see Doug, and when I do, one of us is always wrapped up in taking care of Garrett. After work, Doug usually gives me a break by playing with him, which is nice, but then I don't get to see Doug either. I don't get the adult time. Even after Garrett goes to bed (if he stays there), Doug stays up late to study. I don't feel connected to him anymore.

Garrett is driving me nuts. Physically I'm so tired, that even chasing him around outside is something I try to avoid. I feel bad that he's cooped up inside the house all day when he's home with me. He constantly wants to be picked up, which is getting really hard to do, but cries and clings to my legs if I don't. I can't just walk away from him because he just follows me everywhere until I pick him up. And usually, if I'm at the point of wanting to walk away from him, I'm getting sick of all the whining and crying and NEED to get away from him... thus having no sympathy for how he feels. Then when I'm over my funky mood, I feel like a horrible mom.

Emotionally, I'm overcooked. I feel like my wanting to be a stay-at-home mom is a crazy decision because if I can't handle it now while I'm still working (although pregnant), how am I going to handle it at all? I feel like a bad mom because of how I treat Garrett lately and how much I want this pregnancy to be over. Do I want this pregnancy to be over because I'm so excited to meet my little girl? No. Although I do feel excited at times, lately because of all the other emotions swirling about I mostly want to be done because I'm sick of it. But then I think, "How awful am I going to be once she's HERE?"

I'm on overload right now and feel like there's no end in sight. All I feel like doing today is crying. But unfortunately I have to be an adult and go to work. Please tell me that I'm not crazy and most women feel like this at the end of pregnancy! Please tell me it gets better!

39 weeks... and still counting

39 weeks with Baby Girl.

Last time, Doug made me have my picture taken every week to show the change in my belly, but I got so fed up with it that we ended up stopping around 7 months. I never did get a final picture of how I looked in the week before Garrett was born. This time we did the opposite- no weekly pictures, but one last picture.

I can't believe I'm officially due in 4 days! Holy cow! I know that I've been hoping this time would go quickly, mostly because of how uncomfortable I've been throughout this pregnancy, but now that she's dropped into my pelvis more and is too big to move so much (and painfully, I might add!) I'm actually more comfortable now than I was 3-4 weeks ago! It seems strange that I'm having a baby in the next week! For all you Mommies out there, was there ever a time when the reality of having the baby just HIT you?!

I'm just hoping that whenever she decides to come, that she's happy and perfectly healthy, and that I go into labor on my own and don't have to be induced.