A Broken Heart

Today is a saddened day for me. Garrett broke my heart. I'm getting frustrated with the fact that when both Doug and I are around, Garrett chooses Doug for EVERYTHING! He NEVER wants me. Garrett was sitting on the couch with Doug this morning watching cartoons, and I was sitting on the floor next to them. I leaned over to kiss Garrett's hand and he screamed "NO!" and scrambled to get away from me. The worst part was the look he gave me... as if I was the big bad wolf.

I looked Garrett in the eyes for a few moments, trying to understand why he hates me so much, then got up and went into the kitchen and proceeded to ball my eyes out. I couldn't stop. Finally after 10-15 minutes I called my own Mommy. Unfortunately she know the feeling I'm talking about. I'm sure I've done the same thing to her unintentionally. But she knows how I feel. Amidst my tears she reminded me that Garrett is only 2, and he still does things without knowing quite why he does them. He doesn't have the emotional capacity to understand why what he did hurt me so much. She also reminded me not to take it personally. Although while she was telling me all this, I understood, I still had this ache in my chest. I told her it felt like he broke up with me. This was where the hysteric laughing started.

I'm still a little downhearted right now, but I know that he never meant to hurt my feelings. I'm so quick to cry at this point, that even Doug telling me that I'm a good mom today made me cry. Unfortunately, I also know that this will not be the last time that I've had my heart broken by my kids...