I know its typical to cry at the drop of a hat when you're pregnant. I cried watching the movie Elf in the middle of summer when I was pregnant with Garrett. But lately it feels like so much more. I feel lonely, huge, and dumb. Before everyone gets too confused, let me explain.
Doug and I aren't connected lately. He's busy, I'm busy, and then I'm tired. I'm growing at a faster rate then I did with Garrett. In no time flat I was in maternity clothes, after I lost 10 pounds before pregnancy. Believe me, those compliments aren't there anymore, and if they are, they're falling on deaf ears because I just don't believe them. I'm too huge! And not only am I forgetting things, names, and confusing my son with my cat, I feel like I cannot contribute intellectually in a conversation. I read other's blogs, and the content in them is absolutely amazing. The thought processes are crystal clear and the points being made are points worth taking.
I just don't feel like me. I don't want anyone to think "boo-hoo for Krysia", because this is not a pity party. Just someone please tell me that I am COMPLETELY hormonal and that its all in my head. That way I have some hope for post-pregnancy...
A New Blog
12 years ago
4 comments:
Hang in there Krysia! You know you can count on me to comment... because I love comments so much myself when I'm having a hard time; it makes me feel less alone. It IS the hormones!! Someone needs to invent the anti-hormone pill that will help pregnant mommies get a grip! I have days when I've felt all of those things you just said on your blog- especially all that about being huge and dumb.
You AREN'T huge- I wish you could see how incredibly adorable you look! It's actually fun for me seeing you grow because it must be something like what everyone else saw when I was at the same stage as you- but I couldn't see it because I just felt horrible for being bigger than I was at that point with carolyn. The good news is that I think there is some light at the end of the tunnel. A few weeks from now you probably won't look a whole lot different, even to you, than you did at the same number of weeks with Garrett.
And as for being un-intellectual, you really don't come across that way! It's understandable to feel that way, but maybe it will make you feel better to know that that's not how other people see you.
Take a deep breath, write some of the silly stuff you're doing down, and laugh a little. You'll be back to "normal" in no time. :) Can you believe you're already almost halfway done?!
oh yeah, and some retail therapy might not hurt, either. buy something that makes you look pretty- then find something really cute and small for the little baby! :)
also, find something really bad for you that sounds good and eat it and be glad that you don't have to worry about it for awhile anyway. :)
Yes yes and yes. This too shall pass. I had many days where I was like, "Randy, why can't I talk? Everything comes out bassakwards!" Growing a person is hard work for our bodies!! Just laugh at yourself and take comfort that it will be over in 22 weeks:)
PS: I think I accidentally posted a comment on a different post like 3 times. I didn't realize that they have to be approved by you first...sorry!!
You know, I feel that way sometimes with jacob, but what i have done to combat is ask god for unique things I can do to show him I love him, and pray that God reminds me why I fell in love with him in the first place. It works. And, well, you are hormonal!
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