So far this pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride. Not only am I emotionally up and down, but I'm also trying to grasp the reality that we're really going to have another baby...! Whoa! I know that in my last post I had said that this was a shock. Seriously, if you're not using any birth control, how much of a shock can it really be? Nevertheless, I still felt like the rug got pulled out from under me. Can I be a good mom to two children? I'm just starting to get the hang of one! Even then, Garrett loves to throw me curve balls.
Most days, I'm just trying to make it day to day and show Garrett how much I love him. But when I actually stop and think about what's going to be happening next year, I start getting a little scared. A new baby, Doug will hopefully be starting the nursing program... Those two things alone are major life changing events. Can we make it? How are we going to handle two kids and school and all the bills? Not to mention, I'll probably still have to work full time to keep the insurance for Doug and the kids. It was hard enough leaving Garrett after 3 months to go back to work, but to have to do it again, this time with another child? I feel so unprepared for what life is throwing me.
I know we will be okay. How? "If He brings you to it, He'll bring you though it!" I'm starting my mission in prayer that He will provide for us and keep us safe and healthy, keep our finances in control, and keep our hearts content in any situation that may come. Now, to be diligent in prayer... That's another story.
A New Blog
12 years ago
2 comments:
I loved the last paragraph of you post. You can do it, and like EB says, she won't give you that grace or "ticket" until it's time! I'm praying and am so excited to see you at bible studY!
hang in there krysia! i'm praying for you and little baby too. and i might just have to make some ginger snaps to cheer you up. :)
i think writing about how you feel helps. it's okay to feel ambivalent or scared or a mix of emotions you can't really define. the hormone onslaught doesn't help very much- it could be hard to fall in love with someone you weren't really expecting who shows up and makes you feel tired and sick all the time!
your pregnancy ticker says you've not got as much time left as i thought! it says you're 19 weeks already- due jan 8- wow! you've sure stayed slim if you're already THAT pregnant. :)
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